My Biggest Pet Peeve

When people ask me what my biggest pet peeve is, I usually give some off the cuff remark like people who don't use turn signals, or people who go through the express line at Kroger with 50 items. But that's not really truly what bugs me most. My biggest pet peeve is when people make comments without really thinking about their listener's situation. Let me explain.

We were married for almost seven years before Matthew was born. During that time, I got more cute questions about when we were going to have a baby than anybody should ever have to bear. Part of it was where we were living and going to church. Our Sunday School class was filled with couples that were our age, and many of them were starting their families. (OK, almost all of them.) So, of course, every time a couple would bring a new baby to church, and I would congratulate them, I'd always get the question about when we were going to have one. Well, after the seventh or eighth time, I ran out of cute responses. See, the problem wasn't that we didn't want kids. The problem was that we couldn't have a baby. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and undergoing treatment for it. It's not that the other people were cruel. Many of them had no idea. We hadn't shared what was going on. My best friend knew, and ironically, she felt guilty since she and her husband couldn't seem to stop from getting pregnant! (You know I love you, Shelley!) I just wish that sometimes people had looked at the situation and realized that maybe the continual questions were making me very uncomfortable. So, I've made it a policy of mine to never ask a married couple when they are going to have kids. I don't know what they are going through, and what their problems are or aren't. I wish I'd spoken up when I was being asked those questions. Of course, I could have been brutally honest and put them in a very uncomfortable situation. Darn, I wish I'd thought of that sooner. ;-)

Why am I posting this? I think as a reminder to myself to make sure that I think before I speak. Sometimes, my mouth gets ahead of my brain, and I say things I shouldn't. So, if you're reading this, and I've put my foot in my mouth regarding something I said to you, I'm sorry. And I'm sure I'll need to apologize in the future as well.